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Don't Use LiveJournal anymore [Jul. 23rd, 2007|11:56 pm]
I use MySpace now for my blogging. I haven't used the LJ in years if you can't tell.

I'll still use this to post in LJ communities and whatnot, but my primary location is MySpace.

You can reach me here: myspace.com/livia2005
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"Hope" [May. 8th, 2004|08:52 am]
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]
[Current Music |Complete and utter silence]

At about 12 am today I went in to check on the kittens. Chip was in the box with them, and three of them were nursing, but one was not. It felt cold to the touch and he was breathing loudly, and he was wretching, cauing him to drool at the mouth. Something was not right. I got Dan to come downstairs and check on it, and he said it was definitely sick. Of course I started to cry, the poor thing was barely moving in my hand. Dan called his mom and she told me that the kitten probably wouldn't make it and there was nothing I could do. I frantically called Kim, asking her to come home from Joy's party so we could take it to the vet. Dan seemed resigned to let it just die right there, but Kim, Morgan and I resolved to take it to a 24 hour vet center in Sycamore Township. It was a half hour drive and Kim had the kitten wrapped up in her hat to keep it warm and tried to feed it with a bottle.

When we got there the receptionist raced to take him in the back where he could be checked out. Morgan said that this place was better than most human hospitals! I had to fill out the paperwork about the baby, and I realized that we hadn't given it a name. My eyes filled with tears, I turned and said to Kim, "It doesn't even have a name". Kim was crying too, and she said we should name it "Hope" because we hoped that he would be ok.

Unfortunately, there was nothing we could do. The doctor came in and told us that he was dying and the best solution would be to put the kitten to sleep to end its suffering. Morgan seemed not to like the idea, and since all three of us were owners, we had to come to a unanimous decision. She wanted to take this one back home and see if it would spontaneously recover, but the doctor said there was no chance. The baby was breathing as if it was going to die soon. She also wanted to take it home because if it was going to die anyway, we should save our money and use it in case this happens to another kitten. I couldn't bare to have it suffer though. Yes, I had only had it for five days, but it was my baby, and I loved him. Kim and I pretty much settled on the idea of putting it down. As upset as we were, it was the right decision to end the pain. I had to sign the papers allowing them to do it and we waited. I asked the receptionist if she could call the doctor and ask her to find out if it was a boy or a girl, bacause we didn't know. It was a little boy.

They brought Hope out in a little box so we could bury him outside of the Red House. The hospital was really amazing to us, because they gave us a discount on the costs. It normally costs $65 for them to simply check an animal out without giving treatment. Our cost for check-up and euthanasia came to $37.

He was only alive for five days, and that's all it took to cause me to seriously grieve for him. Chip knew he was going to die, so she pushed him away, but I can't be as strong. People around me said not to get too attached because you will lose some, but I can't. I love so easily. What hurts even more is that Kim and I agreed that on Monday we're going to take Chip and the kittens to a no-kill shelter. Even though the others seem healthy I can't go through another death like this. The doctor also told us that most shelters will give Chip the vaccinations she needs to make sure that she and the kittens have a happy, healthy life. It's for the best, but I've raised Chip. When she wouldn't come near a person because she was ferile, I tamed her. I fed her, kept her in the house in the bitter cold, and supported her throughout her pregnancy and birth. I love her, and although it's hard, taking her somewhere where she can be better taken care of is the greatest show of love I can give. I just wish it didn't hurt so much...

After we got home at about 1:30 am, Morgan wrote this on our refridgerator:

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

That perches the soul

And sings without words

And never stops - at all.

~Emily Dickinson


Good-bye little Hope.




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Tiny Miracles [May. 4th, 2004|07:15 pm]
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]

THE KITTENS HAVE BEEN BORN!!! The first arrived into this world around 10:00 AM on Monday, May 3rd 2004. Chip delivered four happy healthy kittens and I witnessed the entire ordeal! I was about to leave for my history class yesterday morning when i realized I should probably feed Chip. I opened a can of wet food and she was of course waiting right by the door in her room for her breakfast. She was meowing quite plaintatively and as she stood there her stomach like imploded into this HUGE contraction! I thought I was just imagining things, so I placed her food by the box that she sleeps in. Chip was eating away like it was nothing, and I see three more monstrous contractions! I knew the moment of truth had arrived, and I was all alone in the house, so I immediately texted Kim.. She was in class, but she ran out in the of it to call me once she got the message. She abandonned her class and ran to my house, and from there I sent messages to Dan, Morgan, and tried to wake up Sal and Sara next door. Kim and I watched Chip intensely while she ate, and then Chip suddenly got up and there was a stream of brownish water where she had sat on the newspaper. Her water broke! It was only a matter of minutes now!

Soon Morgan and Ryann arrived at the house giddy with the news. So the four of us sat watching Chip, waiting for the babies to come. Chip just wanted to play (after all she is just a baby herself) and we literally had to push her in her box to prevent her from dropping a kitten on the carpet! Our landlords would not have been pleased. About 15 minutes after her water broke, the first kitten emerged. Chip was meowing and pushing, and the first thing we saw was a tiny paw trying to claw it's way out. Of course we all burst into tears at that moment. It was the most beautiful, exciting moment ever. Then the moment got slightly less beautiful once Chip proceeded to eat the umbilical cord and placenta. Yummy.

Over the course of two hours three other gifts came into the world. Two were gray like Chip, and two were black and white like their father Shakespeare. I only went to two classes that day :-) But what was particularly heartwarming is that Elrond (Chip's brother) and Shakespeare were sitting on the front porch, as if they knew what was happening.

Chip knew exactly what to do, and I couldn't be more proud of her. My head was in the clouds for the rest of the day. The sun seemed brighter, the sky was bluer, and there didn't seem to be one unhappy person in the streets. It was a wonderful day...

Oh, and I went to my acting teacher's house for dinner  that night with my whole class. She has a freaking nice house! And the food was delicious, but all I could really think of were my babies. I'm a grandma and I didn't even have to reproduce!

Has this been an awakening of Livia's previously dormant maternal intincts? Slightly, but not enough for me to desire human children in any way, ever. I'll take the kitties any day!

So, anyone want a kitten?

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400 Pound Trailer Wench [Apr. 19th, 2004|04:25 pm]
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[Current Music |Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby - Barry White]

I just LOVE talking to Abraham! We always have some interesting conversations. Last night, he was watching some documentary on TV about poor people in the South. Y'know, the disgusting, stupid, fat hick types with missing teeth. The grossly obese and ugly beyond compare type women who still manage to get laid enough to pop out a kid every year...those types. Brahm came up with the lovely description of a 400 lb. trailer wench and I just about died! He's so hilarious.

Then we came up with the idea that our love is so hot that it would scorch the earth, cause volcanoes to erupt, and basically wipe out every person on the planet except us. What would life be like if we were the only people left on earth? I imagine pretty fun *devilish laugh*. He would miss talking to other people, but I think he could manage with just me. Eventually we may have to repopulate the planet with humans but I don't look forward to it. The outcome of me single-handedly giving birth to millions of people would be me as a, well...400 lb trailer wench. Not pretty. The up side would be that there would be no more stupid people...which would be nice. We're so brilliant.

All in all this weekend was exceptionally good. It was nice and long and pleasant. Kim had her big luau party and tons of people showed up. I got a kickass tan sitting out for like an hour or less, and I got to show off my new Victoria's Secret swimsuit. I was hot. Dramatic push up action...hee hee hee. And as always I got hit on by many random guys which I found amusing, but I also was complimenetd by my guy friends as well. None of them stood an chance of course, but I enjoy the attention nonetheless. Sara and I got to be the lay girls. We laid quite a few people (y'know, it's a hawaii-themed party)! Lots of drinking (not be me of course but by everyone else), lots of dancing, and lots of fun!

It was a good weekend.

Oh, also Sal, Sara and I took a trip to PetSmarty and got supplies for the birth of Chip's offspring. A bed, and litter box, some bedding for the floor and lots of newspaper. I'm so excited! Kittens!!!!

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The Goddess Has Returned [Apr. 15th, 2004|05:06 pm]
[Current Mood |anxiousanxious]
[Current Music |sound of birds outside]

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted. Perhaps this is because there has been so much going on I haven't had time to stop and think! The biggest news going on is that Chip, one of the strays I care for, is pregnant!!! AAAAHHHH!!! We think that it was Shakespeare (another stray) that got her knocked up, but the deed is done and nothing can be done about it now. They're both beautiful cats, and I expect even more beautiful kittens. She's due in a few weeks, so Sara, Sal and I are going to take a trip to PetSmart Monday and get supplies. She'll need a bed, some towels, and a few other things. I plan on capturing Chip in the next few days (not that it's difficult to catch a cat that trusts you) and keep her in Claire's empty room until she gives birth. She'll probably end up doing it in her rather large closet, so when it gets to be crunch time we'll just cover the floor in plastic and newspaper and keep her in there. After all, we can't have cat mess all over the carpet now can we?

I'm very terrified/excited about the whole thing. I've never had to deal with new babies of any kind, let alone being present for their birth! I've seen it on TV plenty of times, but it's a lot different when there are 3-6 little lives coming into the world right in front of you! Well, Chip will proably do it when nobody is around...but I just hope nothing goes wrong. I can't afford a vet bill. But I've been hardcore working on the situation. I've asked everyone I know if they want a kitten, and I've gotten good response. So if Chip has a small litter (most first time mothers do have small litters) I should be able to find homes for all of them, whisk Chip to an SPCA to get her and her brother Elrond fixed for like $20 each and then take them to a no-kill shelter. That's my plan. I love these cats dearly, and I want the best for them. If I didn't already have two cats at home, I would totally take them with me.

Anyone want a kitten?

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School is freaking expensive [Mar. 31st, 2004|09:42 pm]
[Current Mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[Current Music |South Park on TV]

AAAAHHH! I'm so frustrated. I've been looking at a few schools in Los Angeles; California Institute of the Arts, UCLA, and USC. Those are the three main schools that Rocco told me to check out, seeing as how I'm going to have to go to another school. They all seem like good programs, but they're hella expensive! We're talking on average like $29,000 a year for tuition and housing costs! I really want to go to school in California, as that would get me started in the business, which I want. I want to be getting acting work while in school, so I'm not relying totally on a senior showcase. Granted these costs are not counting any scholarships I may get, but what if I don't get any??? I could immediately move to California and stay for a year to get in-state residency, which would make everything much cheaper. But then I wouldn't have an agent, and agents in LA won't even look at you until you have a SAG card, which you can only get by getting professional work. How do you get that? By getting a freaking agent!

So I would rather stay at home an get an agent there, that way I could get AFTRA and then be eligible for SAG afterwards, which would make getting an agent in LA a little easier. But then, I won't qualify for California in state tuition then, and I'll have to get financial aid, and on an actor's income, I'd never be able to pay it off!

So should I move to California for low tuition but spend forever trying to get an agent, or should I stay home and end up being thousands of dollars in debt? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!

But it's not like I have to decide now. I'm sure I'll figure it out...

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Blah [Mar. 29th, 2004|03:40 pm]
[Current Mood |indifferentindifferent]
[Current Music |Amazing Animal Videos on TV]

Well I was right - I woke up tired. I didn't go to any of my classes today, but not because I was tired. The stupid One Stop website was busy so I couldn't print my schedule this morning! If I don't have that, I don't know where I'm supposed to go! But it's not a big deal. First days always consist of the instructor passing out requirement and stupid stuff anyway, so I don't imagine I missed much.

I also tried to call Wendy's today to let them know I'm back and to change my availability, but the mananger I need to talk to isn't there. I'll call back later today. I really would rather not work in that hole (I consider myself above fast food) but I need the money so I can't afford to just not show up. Curses.

I finally ordered Harvest Moon! I found it fairly cheap off of Buy.com so I'm very happy. Soon I'll be farming my heart out!

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Early, or just really late? [Mar. 29th, 2004|01:38 am]
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Current Music |Cowboy Bebop on the TV]

Well, it's 1:30 am and I'm still awake. I have class tomorrow at 10 am, and I really should go to bed. The only thing is, I'm wide awake! I think I'm still stuck in California time, because it's only 10:30 pm there. I wish I were still in California. It was really beautiful.

I should just go to bed so I can adjust to the time difference, but I just don't want to! I like staying up late. That's the good think about being an adult - you can do whatever you want, no matter how impractical it is! I'll be dead tired tomorrow, but who cares? I'm watching Adult Swim and having fun dammit!

I'm slightly annoyed that I've been constantly bidding for the new Harvest Moon game for GameCube and keep getting outbid. I just don't want to pay more than I would if I just went to the store. It's times like this I wish I could drive and just buy the thing already!

Abraham thinks I'm a freak because I find Mr. Spock from Star Trek attractive. I'm not a freak, I just have well...different tastes...yeah, that's it...There's just something about that unemotional exterior and those pointy ears...



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Welcome to my realm [Mar. 28th, 2004|03:20 pm]
[Current Mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]
[Current Music |Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips]

Well, here it is. My first live journal entry. There's not much going on right now...just testing this baby out.

I'm a little bored, there's not much going on. None of my roommates have returned from Spring Break yet. Morgan is in Texas and she won't be getting back for a few days, Dan had his surgery (as far as I know he's still alive), and Claire has moved out and is gone for good. So I'm a little lonely, and this big house is really scary at night all by myself.

I'm kind of dreading going back to school. Since being asked to leave the drama program in my second year, I really don't want to see any of my professors again. I literally feel like I've been raped. I made this place my home, and I loved it here. They told us we had nothing to worry about, and then BOOM! Kim and I are asked to leave. It's especially shitty since this program has bragged that they haven't cut a sophomore in like 10 years. Lucky me.

But I'm not worried. I'm gonna take a well deserved year off (I have worked really hard), and work on getting an agent in Washington DC. It shouldn't be too hard to snag someone (especially with my beauty and talent) and get my SAG card in time. Once that happens, I'm going straight to Los Angeles baby! The faculty told me I would do really well in film, and since that's where I was heading anyway after graduating, I might as well do it. I haven't decided yet if I want to go to school in L.A. or what...right now I just want to be done with school, but I'm not going to make any rash decisions. I just know that whatever I do, I will succeed. After all, my classmates did say that I would make the most money out of all of them! Super-stardom, here I come! :-)

But that's a ways away for now. I had an amazing time with my darling Abraham in San Fransisco, and I really didn't want to come back to crappy Cincinnati. Well, I'll be out of here soon enough. I just adore Brahm so much that words can't adequately describe it. He is just the sweetest, most wonderful guy in the entire world, and eventually moving to California will make our relationship a lot easier. This three hour time difference stuff is irritating as hell! I can't wait to see him again. That will probably be in May sometime, and if not, then I'll definitely see him at Camp Quest again this year. Anyway, I got some beautiful pictures of him on the beach. Those blue eyes of his are quite stunning :-) I'd have to say my favorite thing I did while I was there was sitting up on Indian Rock (I think that's what it was called) and seeing all of Berkeley from there. The sun was shining high above us, and we were at the top of this huge rock looking over the green hills, and it was so romantic...Every time I have to leave him it gets harder to pull myself away from him. Boy, have I fallen hard!

But that's all for now. Just sitting in my room reflecting on the events of the past few weeks. Everything will work out just fine.


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